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Hyperbola: When a mathematician boasts a lot.Irrational numbers: What politicians use when they claim to balance the budget.Paradox: Two MDs.Venn Diagram: A pictorial description of walking holy men (Venn the saints come marching in... )Axes: Used to chop wood.Coefficient: Two things that work well together.Abscissa: A collection of pus in a woman’s skin.Bisect: A religious grouping which allows sexual intercourse with both men and women.Concave: Where escaped prisoners hide out in the mountains.Kite: Fraud involving checks.Torus: A lot of bull...Vertical: Causing dizziness.Surface Area: Where the waitress will bring your food.Why do the Pope and the Cardinals wear skullcaps (as do all Orthodox Jews)? Because when they reach that level in the Catholic hierarchy, they tell them the truth.A Rabbi and a Priest were discussing professional advancement. The priest said that with qualified priests, they can become monsignors.The rabbi asked, “And then what?”“Well”, said the priest, “if. She continued:"Better. But your first response was just lust, and this one, simply terror. I could break you, butbroken bitches don't last long. I need to know your answer is not being given in error."I heard her slinking across the room, and I followed, on all fours, when she beckoned out thebedroom. She led me, naked, through her house until we stopped at the front door. She opened it toreveal the trimmed bushes of her garden, and threw before me a black leather collar, studded andchained, engrained with silver letters "Bitch" upon the ring. She said, simply,"Choose."A cold gust blew upon my naked body, a chill down my spine, but I didn't even think of that. I didn'tthink of the long walk to my car, the shamed naked drive home. I didn't think of how I could hide thisencounter from my friends or future girl friends. I didn't think of my parents, or of my boss or mybrothers. I only thought of the ache on my lips, the emptiness in my belly, and the quivering desire inmy ass, the dirty.
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