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Fortunately, her husband was going to be out of town on business, and the children already had offers for sleepovers that weekend, so with mixed emotions she made her plans and was now on her way. Her hands trembled as she put a few things in a large, over the shoulder bag. ‘I don’t know why I’m doing this,’ she said aloud. It was exhilarating, going out to see a new lover, but she wished it wasn’t so complicated. Her husband had lost all interest in sex after her youngest was born, and the long drought dispirited her from time to time. The bustle of a growing family made it for it usually, but she felt the need for something more. Reading stories on the Internet had opened a new world to her, setting her imagination free, but she had never wandered off like this before. Sitting heavily on the bed, she said to herself: ‘What the hell are you doing, Shelley? You’re acting like a teenager sneaking away from home. You’re too old for this shit.’ After a few moments, her purpose returned.. But she also knows it's a commitment that she can't undo. She "undid" her relationship with Simone through therapy and could walk through life without anyone but God, Simone, and herself knowing.If we were to make a baby that would all change. There is no undoing that. Even an abortion leaves a deep scar on your soul you have to live with. Plus she could no longer say she had never been with a man to any other person without lying. It was a perceived innocence she sort of hung her hat on.After some tossing and turning, I fell asleep and dreamt of her, how beautiful and innocent she was in my eyes. When I woke I had a tremendous urge to jerk away the thoughts I had for her, but I resisted selfishly, because if we had any relations later, I wanted to be my best. I was hard through most of my shower but calmed down as I shaved under the spray. I caught myself yawning as I got into the car to go to her house and wondered if 11a.m. was too early for me and her as well. I had left her at.
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