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First, the driving force in the negative feelings I had about what Suzanne was doing were based on societal expectations. Society said what she was doing was bad. Heck I found most all of it exciting to one extent or another. It was when I considered what she did against what I had been told all my life was good or bad based on societies expectations that I started feeling bad about things. I decided that I was letting society make too many decisions for me. I could determine what I did or didn't like. As long as no one was coerced into something they didn't want and we didn't hurt our "public' positions and we had a few ground rules about some things that I found personally repulsive, scat play, involving children, etc., then I was willing to play and try things as they came.With that decision in hand, I reexamined what had been happening and decided that none of it was beyond what I could live with. Most of it was stuff I actually found exciting and would enjoy seeing it continue. While I was still reeling from his kiss, Lina gives me a quick peck on the mouth. I think she was a little nervous as well. I was to be her first woman, too."You must be hungry after that long trip. Let's eat." Lina says, as we start walking out of the bus terminal. "Yes, indeed, I am," I reply, hoping a little food will help settle my jarred nerves. We head over to this nice little place that has outside seating. As we sit and chat about this and that, I watch them with interest. I wasn't surprised to find them both shorter than me---most people are---but they weren't by much. They were exactly the people they were online, so I started to relax and enjoy myself.We were all having a good time until Lina mentioned getting me checked into the motel. This was a conversation stopper, as everyone, including myself, remembered why I had come all this way. Nervous again, I quietly get into the car and we drive to where I am staying.To break the heavy tension in the silent car, I crack a.
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