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‘Tradition,’ I explained. I carried her into the living room, then went to get the bags. ‘I need to pee,’ she said. ‘Bathroom’s that door.’ I pointed. ‘You’re not going to carry me?’ All right, I thought. I’ll carry you. I picked her up. I carried her the other way, into the kitchen. Then I carried her past the bathroom again and into the bedroom. ‘I really have to pee.’ I carried her into the bedroom closet, then backed out. I walked right past the bathroom again and carried her into the utility closet. She had the idea now and was laughing. She kissed my cheek and forehead. ‘I’ll pee on you.’ I carried her into the bathroom. ‘Are you going to put me down?’ ‘It’s traditional that you pee in your pants.’ ‘Okay, I will.’ I put her down fast. Dory explored the apartment while I contacted some California leads that might be able to get us her birth records. We went out to eat. Thai food. She loved the Pad Thai. She tasted my Chili Duck and tried to put out the fire by drinking. Previously he had won the election and become Chancellor but had been a weak leader.Bruno got a fair number of votes, but with me running as an Independent, he didn’t get enough. My platform was simple. We had problems, the house needed a leader, and it needed a leader not in any particular group. That was me, not Bruno. Vote Buckman, for a chicken in every pot and a car in every garage! I won. I immediately threw my support behind Bruno for Minister, the Vice-Chancellor, and he was voted in unanimously.His slogan as Minister was “Only a heartbeat away!”In general, being Chancellor wasn’t that big a deal. You ran the house meetings, mediated squabbles, and prayed that the important positions had brothers who knew what the fuck they were doing and had some people to back them up. Nobody cared a whole lot if the Social Committee Chairman got drunk and passed out. If the House Manager was away for the weekend in January and the furnace died, everybody cared!So far, it hadn’t been a.
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