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And what would I do? There wasn't any going back for me. I would have to go on. But I would have this memory. Already I was beginning to ache with the idea of how much I would miss her. I was a damned fool. This exquisite, intelligent, stunning creature would never be in my life again, no matter how much I wanted or needed her. Regardless of what I dreamed or desired for her, it was her choice completely. There was nothing I could do to change that. All I would ever be able to do was ache emptily for what I imagine could have been.I rose from the bed and went to the mini-bar. I make her drink and took a bottle of water for myself, dribbling a little into her glass. I sat on the bed and picked up the phone, ordering a fruit plate from room service.Andrea walked out of the bathroom and went straight to her purse. She looked at me suspiciously and I shook my head. She pulled something out and formed her hair into a ponytail. She slipped a band around it and swirled it. I'm 45 and have known I was bi for about 30 years. I remember what got me started playing with my own ass. An uncle used to let me watch (REALLY showing my age here) 8mm movies. Yes....old film 8mm movies that used a projector and needed either a screen or bedsheet tacked to the wall the watch them. I was fascinated by the anal sex, always saw that the women seemed to be in a lot of pain when they got their ass fucked. Then I watched one of those old movies (I still remember the title: GayLay) this woman starts out playing with herself and starts fucking her pussy with a hairbrush and after a couple minutes she pushes the handle of the brush up her ass. [The 'gay' part of this movie happens when the 2 guys that force their way into her apartment and force themselves on her and as one of them is eating her pussy, he's leaking pre-cum and the other guy takes his cock in his mouth and licks off the pre-cum]. Anyway, that got my mind turning and I started experimenting with.
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