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She begged him that he marry her before he left for the Front and, after he received his Commission, he relented. They were both virgins, with little idea what they were doing in the week before he first embarked to Flanders.“Congratulations, Sir,” I said, “Have you got a date when the baby’s due?”“Er...” he read down further, “First September. Bloody hell, me a father, that’s a joke!”“You’ll be fine, Sir,” I said, “You’re already ‘father’ to thirty blokes and NCOs.”“So, Sergeant, are you saying that you’ll come home to help me look after this mewling sprog after the war?”“Haha, the men with families reckon being a father’s easy as fallin’ off a log.”“So, why’re you not married with a crowd of kids then, Sergeant?” Edrich asked, “I notice whenever we are billeted you steer well clear of the women who make themselves, shall we say ... available. So, do you also have a wife at home?”“No wife, I can’t trust any woman, Sir.”“Women-trouble, eh?” Edrich laughed uncertainly, “I remember you. Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then?Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, grey-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate. After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morley high school.“Yes. Yes, I did. Go the blue, white and red!” he gleamed with pride.“When did you graduate?” I asked.“In 1975” He answered “Why do you ask?”“You were in my class!” I exclaimed.He looked at me closely. Then, that ugly, old, bald, wrinkled faced, fat-arsed, grey-haired, decrepit son-of-a-birch asked “Oh Really? What did you teach?”This group is compliments of a Friend of J & G.A man dies ‘in the act’ after taking Viagra and rigor mortis has set into his private parts.The funeral director can’t get the coffin lid nailed on and has to discuss the alternatives with the man’s beautiful young widow. “I’m afraid that the only way to get the lid on is either to pay another $3,000 for an.
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