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" I said,motioning at the vacuum."Why don't you put that away and not change?" Carolyn suggested. "LikeI said you do look rather nice."She turned and headed for the kitchen leaving me speechless. I quicklywound the cord and stored the vacuum away and then nervously headed forthe kitchen, the sound of my heels loud on first the wood floors of thehall and then the tile of the kitchen.Entering the kitchen I found her sitting at the island counter. "Iwaited for you." She said, "I thought you might enjoy serving thecoffee." Yes, of course." I smiled and busied myself getting out the cups andthe cream and sugar. I could feel her eyes on me the whole time.Setting her cup before her, I held the back of the short maid skirt tomy butt as I sat. That did not go unnoticed either.Sliding my lease toward me she broke the ice by saying, "I guess it isgood I have not filled in the lease yet."Concerned she would not renew, I started, "I understand if you don'twant to renew. It is a shock. I would just. .. You didn’t put any money in the poor box!’ The Irishman replied, ‘Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that’s the same as putting it in!’Lemon Squeeze There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, ‘Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.’ The priest said, ‘Confess your sins and be forgiven.’ The young woman said, ‘Last night my boyfriend made passionate love to me seven times.’ The priest thought long and hard and then said, ‘Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.’ The young woman asked, ‘Will this cleanse me of my sins?’ The priest said, ‘No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face.’Catholic Dog Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, ‘Father, my dog is dead ... Could ya’ be saying’ a mass for the poor creature?’Father Patrick replied, ‘I’m afraid not; we cannot have.
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