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The unfortunate animal was taken before a magistrate, who concurred with their assumption, and charged the ‘man’ with being a French spy. A swift trial was followed by an equally rapid execution. As the monkey danced to its death on a rope the Hartlepudlians congratulated themselves on preserving the sanctity of England from the machinations of the dastardly French.It was a visiting merchant, from the much more sophisticated town of Sunderland, who identified the ‘French spy’ as a monkey, and the news of the Hartlepudlians’ foolishness and ignorance soon spread throughout the county, and beyond.“Well, I thought the men of Scunthorpe were stupid, but it appears Hartlepudlians surpass even them,” Spelky said, before emptying his tankard.“I thought you hailed from Scunthorpe, Spelky?” I said.“No Colonel, I was born in the town of Brigg. Which is ten miles, and three hundred years, away from Scunthorpe.”“I suppose, if all you had heard of the French were they were stunted, sub-human. The faster you wake up the faster you get to go back to the bus with your brother and the band.’ Chandler teased me, making my heart race with hope that I would be free. With Chandler, I knew better but I still had hope. I inhale a deep breath and I try once again to pry my eyes open against their will. I manage to let in a hint of light, making me close them once again. I can only manage a small moan as I struggle against the heaviness. ‘Come on,’ he encourages, his voice too close to me for comfort. I groan as my eyes inch open fraction by fraction until Chandler’s face comes into view. I see his lifeless gray eyes peeking out from underneath his black hair. Stubble from not shaving is forming on his cheeks and part of his chin. My eyes dart away and instead focus on the off pearl colored walls of the hotel room. ‘Let me go,’ I whimper, my fingers curling until my nails are digging into my palms. ‘Oh, Precious,’ he begins, making my insides twist in turn in disgust at the old.
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