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“Roger,” she whispered as they broke their lip lock, “this may sound stupid, but thank you. For being my friend, for being my lover, but mostly, for helping me find my way back to the wonder and the beauty of love and loving. I know you don’t understand why I had to do it the way we did, but I do. I had to convince myself that I wanted to offer myself to someone I consider so special that there wasn’t a chance of doubt. I had to make myself believe that I’m still a desired woman, even after my body was ravaged and forced to yield to a brute. I had to let myself surrender to someone special. And you were that someone. You let me be the one to determine how much I was willing to give, and how much I was able to take. I needed the chance to make a choice, whether to give myself to you fully, or whether to continue to live in fear. The choice was easy, but getting to the destination took warmth, caring, and love, and you’ve given me all of those, and then some. I love you, Roger Wilson,. I wanted to do the same thing to her, but couldn’t. I didn’t have the balls – or the gumption!I flicked back over the texts and the pictures. They were arousing, but not now to the same extent. Not now that those moments were long past into the evening. I thought of having a hard wank, but couldn’t find it in me. Frustrated I left my dick flop down and watched as it lost its hardness and became flaccid - with a very wet knob!I picked the remote up and sat flicking through channels again and refilled my drink. It was midnight. Fuck it, I’m not going to bed. Bed seemed too lonely right now.Half twelve and my phone buzzed again. A multimedia message from an anonymous source. No message.I looked on it puzzled, then took it through the same routine as the other messages and sent it on its way for what turned out to be a longer download than I’d previously encountered. I tapped across screens disheartened, bemused and somewhat excited. I pursed my mouth tight not knowing.
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