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" His face fell. "I know Mr. Hollowell mentioned getting the lead runner at least once or twice last year." He'd better have. I taught him."Yeah, lard butt," yelled the freshman on the pitcher's mound, Danny something."Guess what, lard butt junior." Danny looked around until he realized I was yelling at him. "Guess who was supposed to be sprinting to cover first if Elvis had thrown to second like he was supposed to?"Danny looked like he wanted to argue but thought better of it. "Take a lap," I yelled. I looked at my reserves over by the third base dugout. "Jason, take the mound." I'm not a pitcher," Jason said walking to the base line but not crossing."And if I ask you to pitch, you can remind me of that."Jason ran to the mound."Freshmen," I muttered under my breath. "Let's try that play again." And again. And again. "Okay, time out," I said finally.I looked over at the batting cage. "Coach, can I borrow Robbie, Ricky, and Jake for a minute?"Coach Calloway nodded, though Robbie. ”“Sorry, I didn’t mean to imply anything,” I replied. "I’m sure it will work for you."“Well, it hasn’t so far,” she told me.“Early days?” I responded“Nope, six months and so far nothing, except for a large assortment of pervs, weirdos and pensioners.”“I had my share of pensioners, plus a fair number of alcoholics and some who clearly comfort ate until they were comfortable.” We both relaxed and laughed at our mutual misfortune.“Why do people do it?” we both asked the question at the same time and laughed together again.“What was your worst?" I enquired.“A man older than my Dad who clearly thought he could pass for twenty years younger.”“Yours?”“A very attractive lady, in her photographs, but when I actually met her, she was... How can I say this, without sounding like a jerk?”“Go on,” she said, encouraging me.“Well, em, she was…. substantially larger than in her photographs.” She laughed out loud and we smiled at one another. “I mean, I’m talking enormous,” I continued. We both.
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