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Or perhaps it would be something soft and graceful – a carefully crafted compliment that would display a special insight into my sensibilities. Or perhaps he would find some subtle way of inflaming and exciting me even more.But I waited in vain. Eddie had nothing more to say – and that was annoying to me too. Was he so sure of himself that he just took it for granted that he could have his way with me, as he had so incautiously put it? Soon it became apparent that he was a lot more comfortable with the silence than I was.Still undecided, I looked at him, and saw that he was as cool and calm as I was in turmoil. The look he gave me was simply interested, as if he was enjoying the drama as a spectator – wanting to know how this story would turn out, but having no personal investment in it either way.It struck me that what I was seeing in Eddie wasn’t smugness or arrogance; it really was simply confidence. Nothing I could do or say would touch that aspect of his consciousness.And that. Here I was fearing meeting Linda and I had apparently peed myself. For a shy person this, all of it, was mind numbing embarrassing.The next and last class was a lab for Biology and we had to stand around at our various tables dissecting a cat with the smell of formaldehyde over bearing.I noted the overhead light lit up the table tops but not the aisles. I hoped for darkness to hide my sweaty pants and eventually forgot about all that in lieu of the stinking cat I was finishing after hours of hard work now striving to identify and remove the vascular system.This was tedious work and after almost everybody else left I kept going. I didn’t want to quit the cat at that point. I was on a roll and actually a little behind feeling the pressure.That’s when she appeared on the other side of my table not looking at the back of my pants but thank goodness the front of me. Oddly she reminded me a lot of Linda who I was afraid to confront and this person was really cute too. How exasperating, a.
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