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Unfortunately, when you read back your own words it’s tough not to ‘hear’ the emphasis you intended, so unless you’re very careful you can end up with text that reads just fine to you, while leaving other people scratching their heads. An important part of the art of writing, then, is making it completely clear what you mean using text alone. In my opinion, that’s the main trick you should be looking to pull work to turn your first draft into a polished story.To start with, take things a sentence at a time, then move on to looking at how sentences work with each other, and finally to do a paragraph-level analysis. I think the following checklist provides a good starting point for critiquing any unit of writing you’re examining:Can it be clearer?Can it be simpler?Can it be shorter?If the answer to any of these questions is ‘yes’, then it doesn’t immediately mean the writing is ‘wrong’, or ‘bad’. You can usually make a sentence simpler and shorter by deleting adjectives and adverbs.. " Jesus, Harris, you're just full of good news today, aren't you? What does she want? More money?" No," Harper said with a head shake. "In fact, I got curious. We ran the job announcement in our magazine, so I looked it up. The top of their range is a little less than we're paying her now. I got the impression from this conservancy person that Heather is getting a little tired of working in an office in L.A., and wants to get her hands dirty. Dale, I don't think we want to lose her, even if she didn't carry the ball on this one." We can't lose her," McMullen agreed. "She's brought in a hell of a lot of money. More than that, she's been a key player in a lot of our operations. But, I could believe that she thinks she's getting stale. After all, we've had her in pretty much the same spot for eight years." Well, if she wants to get her hands dirty in field operations, we ought to be able to find a place for her," Harper commented. "Maybe six months or a year out in some grubby little.
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