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I’m a bit paranoid. I set us up with a bunch of security cameras around the outside. Including on the roof. A few of the rooftop cameras watch the roof itself. Tony, run the footage.”Tony activated an overhead projector. And started playback on a video file. It showed a slow sweep over the roof, covering one of the AC units. As it passed over the AC unit there was an oddly pixelated area in the rough shape of a person.“What are we looking at?” Matt asked.Ted responded, “A 1 minute loop off of one of the roof security cameras from around 5:30AM this morning. As to what that anomaly is, I think it’s a woman wearing some kind of stealth armor suit equipped with active camouflage, rendering the suit and it’s wearer nearly invisible.”“Active Camouflage?”“The military has been working on the idea for at least a decade for use on vehicles. The basic idea is that you use cameras on one side of an object and project what those cameras see on the other side of the object. Artificial. Sex would smell like chocolate2. Farts would smell like roses3. Dogs would smell spring fresh4. Babies would come from vending machines5. Men would be born with a permanent erection6. All women would have the same size breasts7. There would be no cellulite8. Every food on the planet would be FAT FREE9. Men would be born with an “OFF” switch10. There would be no “Hooters”11. A man’s paycheck would be made payable to his wife12. All menstrual cycles would be replaced with a 5-8 day vacation in Hawaii!13. Men would inherit the menstrual cycle14. Men would come with software to be custom designed15. Men would come equipped with homing device for quick location by wife16. Men would have a built in lie detector on forehead for instant verification of truth17. Men would be intelligent enough to tell the difference between six inches and three inches18. Sex would last longer than 3- seconds19. Foreplay would not be a quick slap on the fanny and a kiss on the cheek20. Viagra becomes an over.
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