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It tore me apart when she told me, I could barely walk in a straight line for a week and lost a stone in a month. There are no words for that pain; why would anyone invent a way of describing something that would be so dreadful to read. It does diminish, but it stays there, dormant waiting to be nudged back into consciousness, forced to the surface by some trigger, often unintended, sometimes risked for a reason, like writing thisHow he did it I don’t know, but he took her; took her for a few years until she saw through his selfish possessiveness, and by then I was left with the kids and an empty bed. Bringing up children without breasts is hard, especially when they are small. The comfort one person can give is so much less than two; one lap, one smile, one voice and no breasts.When I put the three-year-old to bed at night she’d say, "It’s not nice when your mummy goes away," She didn’t say it every night, but often enough that thirty years later it still haunts me.I could wipe away. What-if after what-if tried to make itself heard, but I had resolved to do this. The vehicle was unoccupied, but I heard a click as the door unlocked. My Master was obviously watching me though I had not seen him. I opened the door and climbed into the back seat.The car had probably only been there a few minutes but it was already warm inside, and getting hotter by the minute. I looked around and found that everything was in place as he had said it would be. Drawing a deep breath and hoping I was not an utter fool I took off my shirt, shoes, and socks, and placed them in a cloth bag that lay on the back seat. I then put the bag on the front seat. Two sets of manacles lay on the floor, each attached by a short chain and a padlock to the front seat supports nearest the doors. The manacles and leg irons were of a kind I had seen but not experienced before, sort of like a modern version of old school Victorian cuffs, but with a molded rubber cover. Not uncomfortable, but very real, and.
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