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You see I am 6'1" and weigh about 270 lbs. Yes from an outward appearance I am all man.That is when she glanced down at my shorts and noticed the pop tent that was now there. A very sly and devious grin came over her face. She said I see you like what I have done to you as well. How could I dent it now?My body had betrayed me and showed the obvious excitement. She then started a barrage of questions and pressure about my fantasies. My face went scarlet red as I was thinking of my childhood and all the times I masturbated over just such thoughts. Renee is now volunteering stuff as I am simply stalling till I can come up with something other than the truth. As her enthusiasm was building and she was assuming she was right all the time I took a chance and figured I had nothing to lose.I am sitting here all dolled up and my wife is having a big old time from it. I went for broke and told her my life long desires. About my childhood and the events that led to this day and the true reason. B I am so disconnected from myself when I am allowing these men to use me sexually and I have no idea how to manage stress properly so I figured if I look at my sexual activity in black and white I will have more insight. That is just how I feel about it anyway. I feel as if I am spiraling out of control and I know rock bottom is soon to follow but I still cannot get off the train. It is a very helpless feeling. ‘Talk to me more about your feelings Chayne.’ Well I think that…… ‘I’m sorry to interrupt Chayne but I asked for your feelings not your thoughts.’ She was overcome with more tears. She cannot connect with her feelings and usually finds herself stuck in logical mind. There was a perfect example. She was asked in particular about how she was feeling yet she responded with what she thought instead. Why am I so dead inside Dr. B? ‘Chayne you are not dead inside- instead of healing you choose a path of destruction.’ But why Dr. Blaze? Why must I suffer so much? ‘Now Chayne, I am.
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