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Not sure what I’ll do the second week.Even duct tape can’t fix stupid ... but it can muffle the sound!Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just gonna transfer me to someone I can’t understand anyway?Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.This item is compliments of an Anonymous donor:A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs.Three women, an American, a Kiwi and a Australian Woman, were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.The American woman said “Have you ever had a hug?”The man said “No,” so she gave him a hug and walked on.The Kiwi woman said, “Have you ever had a kiss?”The man said, “No,” so she gave him a kiss and walked on.The Australian woman came to him and said, “Have you ever been fucked?”The man broke into a big smile and said, “No.”She said, “You will be when the tide comes in.”A nurse walks into a room and sees a patient pretending he’s driving a truck, with his hands at 10 to 2.The nurse asks him,. Before he had decided to move there, his cousin, Carie, offered to ask about vacancies in her building. He balked at the idea for two reasons, first and foremost being survival.Through an odd circumstance, he had somehow ended up in something of a relationship with the sister of Carie’s brawny, obelisk of a neighbour across the hallway from her apartment. To say that Yana, the blonde, statuesque Belarusian bombshell had turned his world upside down would be an understatement. Being six-feet tall, a boot camp fitness trainer and an MMA enthusiast, she could literally carry him upside down in a number of holds and clutches.Mistakenly letting it slip that he was involved with this woman - this non-Chinese woman - flipped his traditional parents upside down as well. Such was the challenges of a first generation CBC - Canadian Born Chinese. Much arguing, both calculated and frantic, ensued. It was not a minor factor in his decision to move out on his own. The situation finally made him.
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