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I know that she parks her bicycle back there. In any event, she did not know that I was home, that I was out of sight on the couch, and that I was merely fifteen feet away.My wife said, “Welcome home sexy girl. What did you do with my three pounds of carrots? I was planning on using them to make a raison carrot salad. Go get them.”Ingrid said, “Can’t! I used them.”My wife laughed and said, “I know that! Now go get them. I’ll wash them off, peel them, and feed them back to you. Hey, you get to eat your sex toys. How wonderful is that?”Ingrid said, “I’m not eating those…I know where they have been.”My wife giggled and said, “You can slip a condom over them first.”Ingrid said, “Not the same feeling. That’s why I don’t use a lubricant either.”My wife said, “Just go get them! I’ve had your shit on my hands before. Remember I used to change your diapers.”Ingrid said, “But that was years ago.”My wife said, “Ingrid, you’re an Anal Whore! You should ask your father to take you to the Adult. As April read the note inside, she got an astonished look on her face. Then she handed me the envelope and letter.The obvious quality of the writing improved my first impression of the envelope. It was handwritten and carefully crafted.Madam Sullivan;It is my great pleasure to invite you to afternoon tea on Thursday next.Emily Johnson Council Member Seward’s Folly Mother’s CouncilWhen I finished, I looked at April. “Henry, what do you think it means?” She asked.“Well, at first blush, it looks like the Seward’s Folly high society is making advances. Or the queen bee wants something and seems to feel that you are the key to it.”“To tell you the truth, that was my thoughts too. Next question, what do I do?”“I see three options. One, you agree and meet her. I think that’s the only way you’ll have to find out what she wants. Two, you send her a letter of regret. I don’t think it would matter if it were polite or not. Johnson won’t like it. It won’t change anything, but it’ll irritate.
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