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How long have been here? Ryan shifted positions and looked up to check on me. His eyes became large and began to water. Leah, he cried and hugged me. I felt tears flow down my cheeks as I hugged him back. Why was he crying? Why was I crying? What happened, I asked. His look turned from happy to sad and sympathetic. He started crying again when he started talking. He told me everything from the fire to the five days Ive been sleeping. Everything hit me. I had been the only one at home that night. Mom and Dad went out and big bro left for college two weeks before. I couldve stopped it. I started to sob blaming myself for having everything disintegrate in a fire. its not your fault. The pros said someone started the fire, he said. He got into the bed with me and I pressed my face into his chest and let all my emotions run through. My tears wet his t-shirt. He held me tight and stroked my the back of my head like he did many times before. But this time it felt different. I looked up at. I was coming home to visit my dad who was not doing so well according to Mary, his friend and next door neighbor. I had enlisted Mary’s help in watching out for Dad since she was right next door and had been good friends with my mother. She wanted me there to convince him to take himself into the hospital. He had cancer and was not expected to live more than another six months but he refused to go easily. Now he wouldn’t take the morphine his doctor prescribed for the pain and he refused to go into the hospital where they could monitor the progress of his cancer. Mary tried to be his nurse but he was a lousy patient for her or anyone else. I didn’t know what I could do but I was going to try. While I made the trip back to Pittsburgh several times a year, it was usually a quick visit with the Manager of Research for coatings, and with my boss, Ryan Erinson. I stopped in to see my dad and spent some time with him but I stayed in the city if I had to be there overnight. It was easier.
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