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”We have different ways of dealing with our Andrew. Deirdre has him wrapped around her little finger. He’ll do anything she wants almost without question. I handle our relationship with laughter. He does anything I want too, come to think of it. Maybe he’s wrapped around my finger too.Anyway, she convinced him to take our impending deliveries seriously. He called our doctor, who told him to take us to the hospital where she would meet us. As we got into the car, Andrew said, “Doesn’t it strike you as a bit odd that both of you had your water break at the same time?”Dee Dee and I looked at each other. We’ve always done everything together. We get our periods together. Why shouldn’t our water break together? Such was our assumption. Andrew felt differently.“Did it occur to you that perhaps both sets of children want to be born together?”I laughed. “Andrew, you’ve had some unusual theories in your life, but that’s the strangest.”He looked smug. “We’ll see. We’ll see.”We were over an hour. ‘How the fuck does he do it?’ ‘I don’t know, Boss,’ said Angelo. ‘Maybe he’s got a big cock. Maybe his cum taste like cotton candy and that’s why they call him a Sugar Daddy or Sugar Granddaddy,’ he said laughing at his own old ill humor. ‘Yeah, a big, old, soft cock that oozes sugar that tastes like cotton candy,’ laughed Mario. ‘Do you ever listen to some of the shit that comes out of your mouth? Don’t you never think about what you’re gonna say before you say it? Do you realize some of the stupid shit you say? You embarrass me all the fuckin’ time. You should think about what you are going to say before you say it and then just don’t fuckin’ say it. Sometimes, it’s better just to be fuckin’ quiet. Sometimes, it’s better just to listen.’ ‘Hey, at least I finished high school,’ said Angelo. ‘At least I graduated.’ ‘Yeah, well, just ’cause your educated doesn’t mean that you’re smart. You might have book smarts, but I have street smarts and commonsense, which you ain’t got neither of.
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