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” She said, running her fingers through my hair. “This girl loves you, very, very much.” I could feel the heat of her tiny body and smell her subtle scent, enhanced by a delicate perfume. At this point I could write volumes about morality and decency and choices and fate…but it would be irrelevant; the long and short of the matter is that every wall I had carefully built over the years to keep myself separate from others, from being hurt, from letting myself be vulnerable enough to love, were obliterated in that instant, gone as if they never existed. I put my arms around her, pulling her close, returning her kiss. “I love you too, little one.” I told her. “I’ll never let you go.” Very little else was said that night. Our kisses started slowly and tentatively; I ran my fingers over her body, touching her face, feeling and caressing every part of her. She reached up, unbuttoning my shirt, and ran her fingers through the curls of my chest hair and gently caressed my nipples. It was. I went to my bedroom and returned with my weighted donut and began tugging at my balls to seat them inside and close the magnetic ends to collar them inside. It wasn't so much that I was doing a private ritual in front of a guy as much as it was that I complied with exposing myself and attaching a ball weight so readily. Again, my mind was spinning as he smiled as he had me drop my robe and spun me around as if to examine the merchandise. I felt so cheap. As if the weight weren't enough, he reached out to tug hard on the weight around my balls. I endured increasing pain before I realized he was directing me to kneel. We were still at my door! Carl in the hall and me in the foyer. My knees straddling over the sill in between. Our building had six units, two neighboring across from each other on each of three levels. I feared someone might come downstairs and witness my kneeling with a weight hanging from my balls before a guy in an open robe. "It's been a while, Bod. We both need.
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