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"You're not saying much, Alex." I'm just enjoying your company." Really? Is that all? I think it's time for a snack, Alex."We found the cafeteria and got her a pot of tea, me a large cup of black coffee which I sipped while trying to find the right words."Zoe, before I met you, I couldn't really have a meaningful relationship with any woman; I was moving around so much I didn't have the time. The job I was doing ... well, I couldn't talk about it. That didn't sit well with the one or two ladies I did get to know. At first, I was just dedicated to doing the job, then ... it became a habit, I suppose..." When I paused, I looked at her; she was watching me, head slightly tilted, a neutral expression on her face, just waiting to see where I was going. "Then ... I met you. You made me think ... about my life, where I was going with it. You don't need to know the details – if you're really bothered I'll tell you one day – but I decided I didn't want to carry on as I had been. So, I am now. Secret benefits no one else knows about. We argue over this. I get to the point I get pissed off being his secret and not knowing where I stand then threaten to walk. He doesn’t want me to walk, he feels too much for me, but he needs time. I always agree to wait. No matter how much I want to punch him in the face when these heart to hearts start by the end of it, I’m sat on his face enjoying the blissful orgasms his magnificent tongue gives me. I am weak. He makes me weak. I hate myself.We took a long time to get to the stage we are at, well over a year. He is a slow burn is Jake. I would look forward to nights out when I knew he’d be there expecting a snog at the end of the night or hopefully more and he’d keep his distance. Sure, there would be banter and teasing our standard behaviour. I’d be more cutting in return. He’d wonder what my problem was and blame it on my time of the month (as I say, I am shagging a jerk). He was hot and cold, and I never knew if he liked me or not. But.
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