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"Are you fucking crazy?" I blurted.Her frown deepened, and I suddenly realized I had dropped the F bomb on an adult. And a woman to boot."I had no idea I was such a hag," she said stiffly.My brain farted again."Damn!" I moaned. "You're anything but a hag."Her eyebrows relaxed a bit. She looked interested, suddenly, instead of mad."My, my, but you have developed a potty mouth. What do you mean, exactly?"I reviewed what had slipped out of my mouth, thanks to my loose tongue and farting brain. Basically, I had suggested that my mom's best friend was as hot as I thought she was.I was doomed."Exactly?" I croaked."Yes, Robert," she said, taking a step closer to me. "If I'm not a hag ... what am I?"I thought furiously, but I didn't have a lot of time before I responded."You're the kind of woman who for sure doesn't need a dating service to get a man's attention," I said. It didn't quite come out like I thought it would. I closed my eyes."Why thank you!" she chirped, to my astonishment. "I. Thirty nine ... FORTY." Any more bids ... anyone?"Silence. I slammed the hammer down."SOLD!!"I pointed my hammer to a well known property agent on my right with a phone held to her head.That was the last property sale. It had been a significant success. I walked around the crowd as they stood having a drink at our expense. I saw the agent, Lee, who had successful bought the property. She was an old friend, and was standing quietly, smiling at me. I walked over to chat. I knew her to be a partner in a development company and I had known her in the past when she was just starting. After a time, I asked her if she would like to have dinner with me to celebrate, and she accepted.We had a good, expensive meal, with wine and then shared a taxi to her house. In the back we kissed enthusiastically, I slid my hand up her tight black skirt and rubbed her crotch."Wow," she said, "you had better come in."I carried my briefcase in with me for safety. Hers was a nice house in a good area, all.
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