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Physically, I seem to have healed completely. The bruises are all gone, even on my body. I am eating normal food now, and everything down there seems to work. What still doesn't work is me being alone with any man. Mom was thoughtful enough to get a female cabbie to drive me home, but that is something I need to work on.This especially if I ever want to see you again. I don't know how you feel about me now after two months. I am almost hoping that you have moved on. It would spare me some difficult decisions ahead, but I also fear this possibility. I am at once terrified of being with you and of losing you. Crazy? I already stated that I'm a loon, right?I am also afraid that by allowing you near me, I will set you up for more hurt in the future. I don't want to hurt you! Mom keeps telling me that I'll hurt you the most by not allowing you near me. I want to believe that, but then the memories come back, and I cannot see myself as ever being able to be what you expect of a. When he finish he say ok go home .and when i am go out side with my cousin .and when my cousin have no person in house .he called me .come my house .he say my mom .please i wana play sports with ali .please send my house .mu mum say ok .i am going with my cousin house .he doing same everything but not put dick in my ass .just put in legs slowly slowly i am grow.and my cousin when get chance doing with me like this .but i say my cousin when i am 13 you put dick in my ass .he say no you are little .if i put dick your ass your ass is broke .whan i am 15 i avoid my cousin slowly slowly .i feel bad .if some boday look me .its no good .than i am leave my cousin but pakistan is very difficult find man for sex .sometime i am feel is very hot .and i leave already is my cousin .one day i am searching in long candle .and put my ass .i feel is good . every two and 3 day like this .but one day i am not relaxes with candle .and i am go to out side and buy one cucumber and go wash room and put my.
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