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"Eric," she said. "I want to watch you jerk off your big dick." Eric grabbed his cock once again and gripped it tight, slowly squeezing it hard as he stroked it. "Why don't you take off that sneaker for me while you're at it," she said. "Be careful though, I've been in these dirty trainers all day. I bet my feet smell", she said, with a look of disgust.. "Would that bother you, Eric, if I had dirty, sweaty feet?" Eric's pace quickened, as he fumbled at the laces of her right sneaker with his free hand. As soon as her pulled the string, the bow fell open and he pushed the sneaker away to reveal the sole of her size ten foot. "Oh dude!" she exclaimed, "do you smell that?" Eric buriedhis face into her foot, resting his nose between the space where her big toe met her foot. He inhaled, deeply as he jacked off, furiously now. He foot smelled strong, really strong, of...well...feet smell. The flesh betweenher toes tasted salty and warm and he licked her foot and sucked on her toes."OH. He had seen drawings in newspapers depicting Frenchmen, who were shown to be small, hairy, stunted, and weasel faced, akin to the ‘man’ now standing before them. Further proof, if needed, was the unintelligible, French, language the ‘man ‘was speaking. His companions nodded in agreement.The unfortunate animal was taken before a magistrate, who concurred with their assumption, and charged the ‘man’ with being a French spy. A swift trial was followed by an equally rapid execution. As the monkey danced to its death on a rope the Hartlepudlians congratulated themselves on preserving the sanctity of England from the machinations of the dastardly French.It was a visiting merchant, from the much more sophisticated town of Sunderland, who identified the ‘French spy’ as a monkey, and the news of the Hartlepudlians’ foolishness and ignorance soon spread throughout the county, and beyond.“Well, I thought the men of Scunthorpe were stupid, but it appears Hartlepudlians surpass even them,” Spelky.
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