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-at least not yet-Im going over there to meet her parents" I told her. She looked up at me in awe. "and even if I wanted to. We wouldn't have time." I explained grabbing the notebook and flipping through it. Natascha flung herself over me "no no no no no please dont read it in front of me" She begged.I smiled and closed the book "okay" I said tossing it towards the end of the bed. I stared at her, Her face was pale like snow, her brown bangs swept over her eyes, her small lips full and pink, like an angel. Why hadn't I noticed how beautiful she was before? I knew she was cute but I never really saw her like this until now. "Do you see how much I love you?" She asked, her question threw off my thoughts as I nodded "Obviously, just to walk all the way over here to tell me not to see someone- When it would have been much easier to tell me at school." I said almost teasingly.She shrugged and stared up at me. God those eyes, so full of emotion, telling me everything she couldn't say. She. "She paused a minute as she straightened her hat, then went for broke."Why? I mean, do you want to become a woman? Do you, what do they say -feel like you are in the wrong body?" No, I don't want to be a woman; I just want to experience what it wouldbe like. I don't hate my body, so I am fine with it, but I do think it isa very incomplete expression of who I am. Let me put it another way - Ijust want to do what I do normally - while dressed as a woman. Thistransforms me in some ways. Some who know about this and have seen medressed say I am a different person. I think I am just expressingdifferent parts of me that are less socially acceptable fort a man toexpress. It is hard I think, because with our shared history, they can'tsee me as anything other than the man they know wearing the wrongclothes." Well I think if with your hair fixed as it is now and some other,adjustments, well why not go further and try to make it less obvious?Maybe if they had to look harder to see the man, they.
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