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"I glanced at the clock on the wall, it was twenty to midnight. I hadn't realized it was so late. "Okay, it's your dime, tell your story."The creepy old man smiled. I was right, that wasn't a sight I ever wanted to see."There was once this boy whom God, as is his wont, had played a particularly nasty trick on. I have no idea why the supreme being sees fit to curse some of his creations in various ways, but then I do not understand why all of creation does not curse him as I do either. In the end, it does not matter." I don't believe in God." You should, Mister Man, you should. In any event, this particular little boy was cursed with being a girl on the inside, in his head where we all truly live. This distressed him greatly, for reasons that I hopefully do not need to explain, and when he was fifteen years old he cried out to me. Now I hear cries and promises from you humans all of the time, the din of your pathetic wishes grates on my ears. I ignore almost all of you, your needs and. You see, I found the common cold virus to be the best vector for introducing the new genetics." Isn't that awfully contagious for research work?" Indeed it is! Tell me, Doctor, have you had a cold in the last several years?"I stood up in shock, knocking a stack of papers to the floor. "It got out of your lab?" Yes, Doctor." How could you be so careless?" Oh, I was very careful! I very carefully released the virus in 84 cities in 2006. You see, there's another personal detail you need to understand I'm a man-hating lesbian. Even my therapist says so. Most lesbians aren't man-hating, I know, but I'm the exception that proves the rule."I sat down, sweating, hoping this was all some bizarre hoax. "Many individuals will be naturally immune." I know that, Dr. Ellenbogen. That's why I've released seventeen different strains. I think that should cover all the bases, don't you?" Why are you telling me this?" My work is done. It's too late for you to do anything about it now. You.
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