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I had ran out of tears a long time ago.'The Farm' was a terrifying notion and I was glad I was spared that fatebut my current fate was bad enough."Look at me!" I gasped, finally letting emotion burst out of me, "I looklike a fucking porn star!" I gesticulated wildly. It was true. My bodyresembled a beautiful, sexual woman's body down to the toenails. Iexuded pure sexuality. My soft curves were a living definition ofbeauty. I was simply gorgeous and I hated it.Most beautiful women enjoy being that way, they revel in the attentionthey receive, they put on makeup to enhance it and they enjoy all theperks that are thrust towards them. I had not received such treatmentyet, as I had only been a beautiful woman for less than 24 hours.Hell, I wasn't even a woman 24 hours ago.I was a 46-year-old man, a university lecturer and was definitely notbeautiful. I was bald, doughy and missing two fingers on my left hand,not ugly but certainly no prize. I wiggled my fingers in front of myface,. She’d had so many more experiences, though it did not seem to mature her at all. Her eyes filled with tears as she gazed upwards and remembered all her fond memories with Lance. She thought back on the first time they met, the first promises they made to each other, the fun that they had, and the vows they made on their wedding day. It all seemed like a dream at this point. Something that happened so long ago was now just a hazy thought in the back of her mind. She whispered to herself in the night, ‘If I really loved him, I would not be crying over the memories like I would never have them again, I would be giggling about all the future possibilities.’ ‘ She grunted at herself and blinked hard to get the tears out of her eyes. ‘How could he think that giving up was the only way to deal with this problem? How could he…after all we’ve been through? Wait…is it the memories I miss, or is it him? I cannot understand my own thoughts and feelings. What is love, anyway? I was so happy to.
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