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Whatever it was, I wanted it to fill me to the brim. For some shadowy figure to step from the darkness and claim me. Something divine or unholy, I did not care. There were no prayers on my lips, just my fingers making a mess of my pussy.I wanted to rip down my curtains and let everyone see who I really am. I’m not just your neighbor. Not just the shy girl who liked to read novels and manga and got high marks in school. I wanted to be slapped across the face. Have my clothes torn off by a stranger’s rough hands. I wanted to be pinned down and choked and spanked till my ass was glowing red hot. I wanted to be someone’s precious whore. To be fucked without a shred of mercy, fucked into my pillows until I was bred, only to be fucked some more.The sloppy sounds of my fingers fucking my pussy filled my ears with heartbreaking lust; I wanted it to be something else diving in and out, spreading my lips, and throbbing inside me.I knew what would happen if I let my thoughts spiral like this, if. And I like dick better than push.Everything became so naturally so.I don't project myself on the girl in that painting.Because I'm already a woman.A woman with the body of a 40-year-old man.If I were to undergo a transsexual operation now, I would look like this.It's all gone now.My fantasy?It's actually nothing.I'm sorry to let you down.I once wanted to be a porn star.I wanted to be a lover of all the men in the world.I once imagined men with big heavy dick in their hands lined up to have sex with me.I imagined washing my naked body with semen from men.I even imagined wandering the streets in high heels with a naked body without a single thread.All that imagination had excited me.Surely my fantasy was perverted and hardcore.But there was a separate fantasy that made me the happiest.To be a man's wife..The imagination of me being a man's wife had made me the happiest.Now I think I have to give up that dream for me.It just makes me sad when I think about it.I think that's the best.
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