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Down at Funchal the storm would be pure rain, but up here at almost 1500 meters it was more than cold enough for snow. Megan gazed at the power of the storm. It brought back memories of a cross-country skiing trip she had as a young child in Canada, riding the trains with her parents and two brothers along the beautiful Pacific coast. There were a lot of fond memories. Her dear parents! The little news there was about the great U.S. earthquake had been getting worse by the day. The U.S. east coast websites spoke in generalities, and there was no network contact with the west coast at all.Megan stared at the snowstorm in silence, her mind racing and trying to combat feeling of helplessness. So far away... There was almost nothing she could do. Almost... She turned and stared at her computer station. Her job had evolved in the last few months. On Porto Santo, her work as Lead Veterinarian was needed and deeply appreciated. But here on urbanized Madeira her skills were less critical.. ”“Okay. My first horrible thought was that her death would save me money instead of going through a divorce.”I felt a tear sliding down my cheek as I watched Hank’s face for a reaction. I wondered if he would be shocked or appalled, or even disgusted. He showed none of that. I think I saw understanding.“And then what?”“I realized how sick that thought was, and in an instant I felt the emptiness I created for myself and how her death sealed me into an isolation of my own making.”“That’s had to be a horrible realization.”“Yeah. I knew I had to make major changes. I mean, I’m still me. At the core of my personality I can be very narcissistic, but I made up my mind that I was feeding that piece of me at the expense of my ability to care about others. I realized at the moment of Linda’s death that I loved her and cared for her far beyond what I ever showed, and I felt ashamed and angry at myself for being such a fool. Does that make sense?”“Sure it does. You suddenly saw the cost of your.
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