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In any case for me it hadto do with whom I identified with, namely my mother rather than myfather. That combined with an abundance of curiosity as to what being awoman was like provided the impetus for experimentation. For me thatexperimentation occurred whenever my parents and brother were notaround.Yes, I raided my mothers lingerie drawer. I had to know what all thatsilky and wonderful clothing felt like. I had to know what it was liketo wear stockings and high heels and dresses. What started as acuriosity became a compulsion, a compulsion wherein each tentative stepled to the next. Lingerie led to dresses led to high heels led to wigsled to makeup, if you are reading this you know about the evolution of acrossdresser and have likely traveled the same path. There was a freedomand yes a sexual aspect to it.Growing up I was not particularly interested in the standard and overtmacho role nor was I effeminate. I stood in the middle somewhere.Growing up in the 1960's gender roles were. .." You look different; something is not quite the same." Joe inquired."I had a jaw reduction. It seems all the years of wearing braces were for nothing. My overbite was genetic defect, not dental problems. It got worse and worse." Are you married?" she asked."No, how about you?" He volleyed back."Yes, I am, but I'm miserable. He's probably looking for me right now." Why are you late?" Yeah, I guess about 2 weeks late. I left him in San Diego and told him I would call him once I got settled someplace. I've checked in a couple times so he knows I'm not kidnapped or anything." She said with a relieved laugh."Kids?" No, thankfully. I hope someday though, but I worry about the CP, you know." You never gave me a chance to send condolences about Emily. She was a brave, smart woman." Joe said softly."Not a chicken shit like me who runs from her problems, right?" Don't be so hard on yourself. Sometimes we follow our heart, and it sometimes has blinders." Joe reasoned."Not married, huh?".
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