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.. but... That would be well over total number.”“You didn't back check all those requests little man!” Santa now screaming. “Do you know how many sets of twins I ran into? Do you have any idea how many girls wanted to go around-the-world with Santa? Not to mention the 27 all girl dormitories where you scheduled stops. Then the most surprising of all, was the eleven retirement homes!”All the elves just stood in silence.Using air-quotes, “There were all kinds of “Girls” waiting on me! Love sick teenagers, neglected house wives, widows, retirees, librarians, school teachers, executives, elected officials, fitness trainers, and, I might also add, there were 23 Dominatrix's! I even stopped at a couple of places that were having a swinger's Christmas party!”The programming elf is now more frightened by every detail Santa relates to him.“I have had sex in every imaginable position tonight!” Then, counting down on his fingers, “Missionary! Doggy Style! Cowgirl! And, a few I had never. Wires joined and parted, connecting a bewildering array of devices. A control panel was set up in the corner. There was an oscilloscope on top of it and the eerie trace of the electron beam across its screen belied the quiet state of the equipment. The trace said it wasn't completely shut down; it was drawing a current.I walked over to the oscilloscope, dodging the clutter and the grasping cables. I glanced at the readout. Then did a double-take. Then a triple-take.“Is your oscilloscope broken?”Opal walked over to stand beside me. “No, it’s working fine. What makes you think it’s broken?”“It’s reading 20,000 volts!”“Kilovolts,” she corrected me idly.“TWENTY MILLION VOLTS ARE GOING THROUGH THESE WIRES?” My voice doubled in volume and skipped up several octaves.She giggled. Her giggle was a study in mischievous confidence. I felt like I was being drawn into a joke that only she understood. “You’re cute when you shriek.”“Ah, thanks…” I didn’t know what to say, but I backed up as far as.
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