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"Thanks, Maggie momma, see you tomorrow," I agreed sleepily, "Drive safe and please come back to me. Remember, little Diane needs you!" (Yawn)When she left, I realized that the wet spot I had been sitting in, when I fell asleep, was gone. I later learned that Maggie had changed the bed after her shift was over, not wanting me to have to endure the humiliation, of having a stranger do it.***The next morning, Maggie visited me and brought several books on fashion, makeup, and feminine hygiene, which I gratefully accepted and read with more interest, than I would have ever believed a week ago, but of course now, these things were about me!Over the next week, Maggie helped me through many of the basics, in femininity. I had used the bathroom by myself, and now, I know how to do it properly (I didn't realize it was that complicated for girls). I could dress myself somewhat, and even apply some basic makeup. Maggie even taught me how not to walk, like (as she put it) a clumsy elephant.It. Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad.A1: Your Honor.A2: MayorA3: GovenorA4: Senator.Q: What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?A: His partners.Q: What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?A: TallerQ: What’s brown and looks really good on a lawyer?A: A Doberman.Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a liar?A: The pronunciation.Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?A: A prostitute will stop screwing you when you’re dead.Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?A: The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.Q: What’s the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?A: One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?A: To practice.Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?A: The lawyer charges more.Q: What’s the difference between a tick and a lawyer?A: The tick falls off when you are dead.Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?A: I don’t know. There are.
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