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I knew that she too wanted me as I had noticed her looking my crotch many times.One day, we were watching a movie alone at her home. We were sitting on chairs. She went inside to drink water and I sat on her chair to feel the warmth of her butt. She came back and said that , “This is my chair. Sit on yours”. I told her to sit on mine. She refused and suddenly sat on my lap. I immediately became aroused feeling her wonderful body on my chest. My penis very quickly became erect.She noticed that. I thought this is my chance. So I said to her, “You can’t sit on my lap. It’s reserverd only for my wife.” She smiled and said that “Then think of me as your wife”. My body was very ecstatic as she said it. Her hair smelling like jasmine and her erotic voice made me to pre-cum in my underwear. I replied, “If I had a wife and she sat on my lap, I would do very dirty things to her”. She replied, “Then do it. Let’s see if you have the guts for it”. I thought my wait for her body was over. My. I have to move to get the excess energy out of my system or I start bouncing around like an over-sugared kid on a pogo stick. My jaw clenches, which in turn makes my head hurt, which makes me angry. I’ve been to counseling and we think we figured out what the problem is. I don’t like being unprepared and I have no idea what happens after you die. Do you go to Heaven/Nirvana or Hell/Hades or Valhalla or Olympus or the Seven Heavens? Is it the Abyss or the windswept plains of Archeron? Are you reincarnated? Can you be resurrected? Is there a Purgatory that you simply wait in for something to happen? Or do you simply cease to be? I think that one frightens me the most, because I don’t want to just ‘not be,’ you know? The others I could deal with, even if it’s Hell. At least I’d still be around. Even Purgatory would be an improvement, though from what I’ve read, it can be kinda boring. But it’s the not knowing for sure that cause the panic. I was raised in a church and believed in God.
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