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I knew I was going to be nervous. I just didnt think I would be this nervous. The time I had spent mentally preparing myself for this experience seemed to have no comforting value as I finally got to the stone porch leading to the front door. Giving myself a once over I decided I was decent enough looking. I was dressed in what I often called my boy clothes. Though that wasnt exactly accurate. Yes the clothes could be considered masculine. But anyone on close inspection would see that my skinny jeans were obviously womens. Giving me some curve to my rather slender hips and showing off my naturally skinny waist. My shirt might seem like a normal V neck t shirt. But again, looking closer some would see that it probably dips a little lower than it should to be a shirt for a male. Not that I had anything to show off there. The shape and design of the shirt though still made me look slightly more fem. I had gotten a few looks on the bus and even did a double take when I saw myself in the. ”“Actually, I think I can get to the crux of the issue,” I said. “You’re concerned that if I have to choose between making my wife happy and living how I’m expected to live, that I’ll choose the latter.”“You would, wouldn’t you?”“Let me respond a different way, if I may. If the life of a patient depended on my upsetting or disappointing my wife because I had to break some kind of commitment, what should I do?”“That’s different, don’t you think?”“An obligation to my fellow man versus my obligation to God? I don’t see how I can separate those, really.”“Your wife is going to be in third place, then? Or maybe fourth, if we count Clarissa. Deacon, doctor, husband; or Deacon, doctor, friend, husband. I guess ‘dad’ comes in fourth or fifth.”“When you put it that way...” I sighed.“Am I wrong?”“I ... well, I don’t think it’s that simple.”“Tasha recognized it, didn’t she?”“Yes,” I sighed, “she did. And so have you. With the same result, I suspect.”There was a knock at the door and I wasn’t sure.
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