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.."What ... You're coming empty handed?"Wise Italian GrandfatherAn old Italian man in Brooklyn is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, "Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated... 38 revolver, so you will always remember me." But grandpa, I really don't like guns ... How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?" You lissina me, boy! Somma day you gonna be runna DA business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos." Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man. "Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, 'Times up!' "?Irish blonde...An attractive blonde from Cork, Ireland, arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty thousand dollars in a single roll of the dice.She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude."With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish. Both girls were wearing old, threadbare t-shirts and sandals. Julie was wearing a short skirt and Lisa was wearing tight shorts. Neither was really skanky looking but close enough for my purpose. To fit the part, I was wearing old jeans and sneakers with a very wrinkled, unwashed Harley-Davidson t-shirt.As we ate breakfast, I explained, "We are going to drive over to Jackson because we have an appointment at the women's free clinic. My name will be Bubba Jones and you two are my sisters, Bobbie Sue and Becky Rae. I am going to tell them that I am taking care of you because our mother is a drug-addicted whore. I am trying to keep you in school so that you don't end up like her. But I can't watch you all the time and we live in a bad neighborhood. If you get pregnant, it would ruin everything." All you have to do is play along and we should be able to get you birth control pills. I even downloaded their parental permission forms and put a signature on it that I will claim came from our.
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