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The infamous English translation was published in 1886 by Sir Richard Francis Burton. Sir Richard also published such noteworthy works as Vikram and the Vampire, Two Trips to Gorilla Land and the Cataracts of the Congo, The Kama Sutra of Vatsayana and many others.’ ‘Let me just begin at the beginning, the Introduction, General Remarks about Coition, to give you a flavor for the work. Here are a few excerpts … ‘So let us praise and exalt him who has created woman and her beauties, with her appetizing flesh, who has given her hails, a beautiful figure, a bosom with breasts which are swelling, and amorous ways, which awaken desires. The Master of the Universe has bestowed upon them the empire of seduction, all men, weak or strong, and subjected to a weakness for the love of woman.’ What do you think, Laurie?’ ‘Pretty boring. Does it get better?’ ‘Oh, yes, much. Here is a little something from Chapter 6, Concerning Everything That Is Favourable to the Act of Coition, ‘If you desire,. I rememberbeing stunned at the size of it, as it was the first grown-up dick I hadseen. Thinking back, as I had done many times since of that situation, Irealized that it was just average size...but to my little eyes it was ahuge monster, and I wanted to touch it so bad. Of course, I didn't, but Ihave fantasized many times since that I had. Oh well...memories."Mike...are you in there?" I was startled back into the present by hisquestion. I found that I had been lost in that scene from long ago, alltriggered by the lump in Todd's pants. "Umm, yeah. I'm here." I spurtedout. I was worried that I might have a lump of my own growing in myjeans. Thoughts of Todd and that man at the urinal had really turned meon. Of course, as a teenager there would be know way in the world that Iwould ever tell anyone about that. I had an image to maintain, or more tothe point, I didn't want to get the shit beat out of me."Well, what do you think?" he said."Umm, I'm sorry. I guess I wasn't paying.
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