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By this time the alcohol cought up to me. I said my good byes to everyone and started to leave, Robert ask how far I had to drive.I told him about 10 miles. He said " you can sleep at my house if you want, I'm just around the corner. Thinking it's a long way at night, dark road, and a lot to drink I agreed. I followed him to a trailer park, eighth one on the right. We went inside, and he offered me a beer. "Sure" I said. Looking around I didn't see a couch to lay on. He gave me the beer and we sat at the dinner table. When I finished, I asked him where I was going to sleep? He said"you can sleep on one of the chairs or you can share the bed with me". This wasn't going to be the first time I slept in a bed with another guy, I agreed to the bed. I haven't worn underwear since I was in high school and I was to drunk to care. We went to the bedroom and I started to undress. I stripped down and pulled the sheets back, climbed in bed and went to sleep. I woke up with Roberts hand on my. Always ready and happy for that overtime, working day and night, the first years crying, it coming without forewarning and with me not able to control it, yeah, I hated it.I don't remember me crying before that time, I always felt it was giving people more information than they needed, so I had early on taught myself not to give in to such. But the crying I did after the separation must have gone a far way filling up that hole. Yeah, that separation made me a real danger on the road, and as I told you, crying and me found us a real tight relation those years.I'd read all those macho stories on the net and at times I felt the allure of them too, loading that gun and blowing the bitch and her new man out of their shoes and life's. But hell, we had two kids together and she was still a better mom than me. I wasn't the mothering type, and the way I had grown up I didn't really felt like a role model for anyone. But it had still cost me my kid's, I couldn't be there as I had dreamt too,.
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