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7- Wait a minute -- I get it. What time of the month is it?6- You’re sure you don’t want to consult the great Oprah on this one?5- Sorry, I was just picturing you nekked.4- Whoa, time out. Football is on.3- Looks like someone had an extra bowl of bitch flakes this morning!2- Is there any way we can do this via e-mail?1- Who are you kidding? We both know that thing ain’t loaded.Food For Thought“Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.”This one is compliments of UgeeayIf you are from the deep south (USA) you can relate!Three women were sitting in a beauty parlor. The first women turned to the others and said “I’m so excited! This is my fifth wedding anniversary. My husband gave me a dozen roses this morning, a beautiful diamond bracelet and he is taking me to an elegant restaurant tonight”The second women said “how wonderful.”The third smiled and said “how nice for you!”The second woman said “on my fifth anniversary my husband took me on a two week trip to Europe. We dined in. "Wondering where she and Elaine were going together at this time of the day, I snapped it shut, hoping that hung it up. I'd promised never to turn it off. No problem there, I'd barely learned how to turn it on!"Because of last Friday, huh?" Missy asked."Uh huh. I think Elaine laid a guilt trip on Mom. Maybe that's why Mom let Elaine pick up the cost. It's a prepaid, Elaine said, whatever that means. This morning she was setting up speed dial numbers on it, Mom at home, the office and her cell, and herself at her office and cell -- how many is that? Five? -- plus 911, and probably the FBI, the CIA and the National Guard, just in case. When we get to school maybe you can show me how to speed dial, and how to turn the darn ringer off, too, so a wrong number doesn't set off the charge of the light brigade and get me detention. Elaine has a funny sense of humor." Sure." So, you won't go to the dance with me?" I asked in a teasing tone, half hoping she'd take me up on it."Thanks, but no.
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