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I shook mine in disbelief. ‘Gee, I’m not going to win the books-I-read contest, am I? ‘Okay, have you watched any of the old Saturday Night Live reruns?’ ‘Again, yes.’ ‘Did you ever see any of the Mr. Bill segments?’ ‘Yes. And I didn’t much care for them.’ ‘I’m sorry to hear that, because after you were so completely clueless that you were being flirted with, I realized, William Jefferson Goldberg, there is only one thing I can possibly call you when I’m not using Jeff.’ ‘I’m pretty sure I don’t want to hear it.’ ‘I’m pretty sure you don’t. But every time I say it, it will remind me of how much I love you, Dr. Goldberg and Mr. Bill.’ ‘Oh, God, no.’ It was definitely a groan. ‘Dr. Goldberg is the savant. Yes, they were flirting with you like crazy at that party after Thanksgiving, Mr. Bill.’ ‘Oi. Why were they flirting with me? What did I do?’ ‘You were with me. You’re such a virgin.’ ‘Figuratively?’ he asked. I nodded, and smiled. ‘Four?’ ‘You had to be there. ‘I was a celebrity with. How'd you like it?" I hated it. It was awful. I'd rather have been in jail." How come?" First, it was all English riding. And the girls were just like at school, getting into little clubs and ragging on everyone else, lording it all the time. The ones who had their own horses lorded it over the rest, the ones who had the good horses lorded it over the ones who had plugs. The only good thing was, no boys." Well, at least you didn't give up on riding." Close. The real reason I'm here is my folks insisted. And it's okay, because maybe the boys won't be after me so much." Boys a real problem?" Yeah. They get you in the halls and feel you up and then they laugh at you when you get mad. Makes me feel like shit. I feel like shit anyway." Why?" I dunno. I can't do anything right. Can't talk to anyone 'cept you, and I hardly ever see you." Well, you'll see more of me, now." I hope so. You be here every day?" No, I'm still in school, too. Just Tuesday and Thursday this term. The rest of my.
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