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Certainly, if an outsider were in attendance, the opening lines would seem unfairly harsh. But everyone here was Mudheel, by birth or by choice or by force, and many of them had been through this ceremony themselves. After an acceptable pause, the leader continues. “Tomorrow, perhaps, you will be strong. Tomorrow, perhaps, you will have skill. Tomorrow, perhaps, you will find your name. Should such a tomorrow come, the Mudheel tribe will welcome you back. But today, your only home is the swamp. Now. Begone!” The leader thumps the butt of his spear against a stump, once, twice, three times. His words have become law. You and your peers turn away from the chief and walk past the ring of trees that mark the edge of the village. Nobody follows you, but a sentry watches passively from a tree, and you know there are a couple scouts outside the village to make sure you all go your separate ways.One of the other nameless youths thinks themself a warrior, and breaks South as soon as you clear. Now just to clarify, I lived in a small Midwestern town, so it's not like I was headed off to pelican bay or Chino, but prison is prison. As a youth, I had been a bit of a malcontent and spent time in mental institutions but nothing like adult prison.Growing up, I found myself confused about my sexuality. This was in part because my dad ridiculed me and made nasty comments about me being gay. The other part was because of my dad's comments, I began to insert things - my fingers, beer bottles, etc., into my ass while I masturbated. Of course it hurt at first but it also felt good. Unfortunately due to my father's negative opinion of gay men there was also shame and confusion. I wondered if I liked fucking my ass was I gay?Fast forward ten years and several treatment centers later, I was at peace with my sexuality. I considered myself to be a bisexual male with leanings towards women. So at the time of my incarceration, I was married. We didn't have the best relationship before I ended.
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