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Well, I know - I knew even then, but I didn’t want to think about it, for fear of accepting that my needs didn’t fit with society’s norms. “Please,” I heard my voice beg, strangely detached as if I was listening to someone else, “please don’t. I want to…” My voice broke, but now that I had started to express my feelings, it felt as if there was no turning back. “...to be the one denied. I want to yearn and need and desire, and I want to see your eyes light up when you look at me and drink in my desperation. I - I want to be the focus of your need, any way you want, any time!” My heart pounded painfully against my ribs as if it was trying to break free. Her eyes widened, and we knelt there in silence for a long time, I nervous and embarrassed and feeling like tumbling in free air, and she surprised and contemplative. “You don’t know what you’re asking for,” she finally whispered, and I thought I heard a note of pain in her voice. “I don’t mind,” I reassured her quickly. “I meant what. I gave birth to a baby boy when I was in 22. After our engineering we struggled hard to get a job to settle in life. We have no one to help us except our friends. As days passed I and hubby use to quarrel regularly due to frustration because the money we earn is not enough for our expenses and for our baby. As days passed we hated each other and finally we divorced. I am 26 when I was divorced. He said that he don’t want to take care of my baby. So now I have to work to take care of our baby. With the help of our neighbors I concentrated on my job search. Every one of my friends use to give money for our survival and they used to say “try for a job and you will get it as you are beautiful”. After 10 interviews I was selected for a job and was very happy because from now on there are no worries for money. Take the salary every month and be happy with my son. My friends suggested me to marry again and I too agreed. Everyone who came to see me liked me and asked to keep my son in the.
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