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...." "I know what you were trying to do," shot back her mom, "the question is, where did you get such an idea!?!" Valerie had never lied to her mother, and even though she wanted to, she broke down and told her about the magazines and all of the pictures depicting all sorts of sexual acts. Her mother, now calming down, remembered how she as a young girl had also experimented with masturbation, and that it was almost impossible to resist its temptation! Her mother walked over to Val, put her arms around her and gave her a bit hug and said, "I'm sorry I got so excited, what you were doing was perfectly natural, but using something as sharp as a hair brush handle can be dangerous, and I don't want you to injure yourself!" She then kissed her daughter on the cheek and continued, "For that reason, and so you know what you're doing, for this one time I'm going to show you the proper way to masturbate!" For. THE IRATE CUSTOMERFor all of you out there who’ve had to deal with an irate customer, this one is for you. It’s a classic! In tribute to those ‘special’ customers we all love! An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in Denver for being smart and funny, and making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo.A crowded United flight was cancelled. A single agent was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travellers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, “I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS.”The agent replied, “I’m sorry sir. I’ll be happy to try to help you, but I’ve got to help these folks first, and I’m sure we’ll be able to work something out.” The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, “Do you have any idea who I am?”Without hesitating, the gate agent smiled and grabbed her public address.
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