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So don't you ever mumble tome again, young lady!" Now get dressed. You have some wonderful surprises, which you won'tlike, today."Mother left me to do her bidding. With all the practice I had yesterdaywith changing and recharging any and all types of female finery, I had apretty good idea of what came first and how to install the pieces on aboyish body. The girdle and the pantyhose helped do some curve formingand mother had laid a set of small breast pads in with the bra sheselected. Slipping into the slip and the skirt and tucking in the shelland stepping into the heels, I was ready to shrug on the lilac cardiganwith the pearl buttons. The look screamed for a pearl choker. MaybeMother would have one when she "accessorized".I was dressed as instructed and contemplating what to do with myrollered head when Father came back in the room. He didn't say a workbut pointed to the vanity and I knew that he wanted me to sit facing themirror. I smoothed my skirt as I had been instructed by. “Now please don’t consider criticism to be negative when it is intended to help you make this better. I’m not going to use words like ‘I like it’ or ‘I don’t like it’. That’s irrelevant to our discussion. My personal tastes are not at issue. I’ll try to keep this as objective as I can within the realm of language and literature. Good enough?”“Yes, ma’am,” I said. I was already a bit dejected. I’d put my heart into this story. Toughen up, old man.“Okay. Let’s start with the story arc. I think you could begin with something more dramatic that draws the reader into the story more rapidly. It’s the third page before we have a clue that they are boarding a spaceship. Lead with it. Even a simple a sentence of thought from the main character that said, ‘I took one last look at the earth before I boarded for my journey to the stars.’ Something that immediately sets the scene. Then you can deal with the weight of his baggage, the nods to people he knew and worked with, and the scurry of.
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