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‘I want to explain. I’m not trying to condone what I did, but I just want you to know that I’m different now. God, I was so young and arrogant. I thought that every girl would want to get with me. I know that my apology isn’t worth much now, but for what it is worth, I’ve felt guilty for it every day since.’ Heidi found that hard to believe. ‘Why now? Why did it take you four years to come say something to me?’ She tried hard to keep her voice calm, not wanting him to know how much this conversation was affecting her. ‘I tried to before. I’ve written you letters that I’ve never sent. I’ve come as far as your front door, but never had the courage to knock.’ Heidi stared over at him. He was so perfect. She remembered when she used to hate him for being perfect, for having the perfect life. She had resented him and everyone like him. In a way she still did. She wanted to punish him, to tell him how much she hated him still, but what was the point? It wouldn’t make her feel better,. It's just that there was something that..." I tried to find theright words."That what?" she asked.I took a deep breath. "I was waiting for the right moment," I told her."I'd been waiting for it, but it hadn't come, and I wasn't sure if itwould ever come." What is it?" she asked.I took both of her small hands in mine. "This is that perfect momentthat I was waiting for, and I just wish that I had my pants with me. Butnot so that I could wear them." Well, why then?" she asked.As we stood there in front of the gazebo over looking that beautifullycalm lake on such a lovely spring day, I held both of her hands in mine."Lisa?" I asked."What?"She was beautiful. The floppy yellow ribbon below her chin flutteredslightly in the breeze, and I felt her fingers tighten around mine.Very slowly, I dropped to one knee. My hoops and my dress sank towardsthe ground with me. "I wish I had my pants," I told her, "because forthe past two weeks I've been carrying around a ring in my pants, andit's.
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