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She came up to me right after the ceremony and gave me a hug and kiss on the cheek, congratulating me and telling me that she would see me later at the party that my parents were throwing in my honor.By the time I got home, the get-together had just started so I began circulating among the people who had come, talking with relatives, aunts and uncles, cousins, my grandparents from both sides, along with some of my friends and friends of my parents.After a while, I went out to the kitchen and there was Anita arranging some hors d'oeuvres on a tray."Conrad, here's something just for you," she said sliding an envelope into the inside pocket of my jacket. "For all the hard work you've done," and she leaned up to give me a soft kiss on the lips.I thanked her and got myself another beer and went out to circulate among the others.Later that night, as I went up to get ready for bed, I slipped off my blazer and, there was the envelope. I took it out and pulled it open and saw what looked like. You are comfortable and I like wearing you. Not as much as your sister g-string, but I still like and enjoy you. Dear hipsters- Thank you for allowing me to wear low-cut jeans. I like your style, we should hang out more often. I am sorry that I like blue cheese so much and now you are slowly getting tighter. In fact, not just blue cheese but all food. (That's another open letter) That goes to all my underwear actually, I am sorry that some of you are slowly getting tighter, but I don't want to start buying you in a bigger size. It is winter here now, and I am hibernating, so please stop judging me. In the summer we can work together again. Deal?Dear men's satin boxer shorts I purchased for $5 on a whim- I love you. You are so comfortable and if I had it my way, I would only wear you and a tank top in the summer, but apparently proper clothing is required in public. I will buy more pairs of you in the summer so I can wear you around the house. Thank you for not pressuring or judging.
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