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Cindy, one hand, Lee, me, the other. Drag him, pull him. Grunting with our childish lack of strength."Push... Cindy, Pull! Get him on the bed and we can go to find food." Not an easy task.Food? Kill the rabbit. Dad, bless his soul, raised rabbits. He sold the fur — we ate the rabbits. Like chickens which we had also... lard in the pan and fry very crisp. Chicken or rabbit — sometimes chicken and rabbit.One day the rabbits were gone. We were twelve then and Dad was away for several months. I knew how to trap rabbits and found out they were just as damn dumb as chickens. We ate rabbits and stuff from the garden grown wild; planted by Mom, cared for by God.Dad came back, gaunt, bearded, scars on his legs from shackles he said. Did Dad take care of us? We took care of Dad. We did love him and in his way, his very own way, we think he loved us. We knew, somehow, he loved Mom and died, slowly, without her. He loved us but we were not Mom.We had a milk cow and from age six I milked. The. Surgeons had to wait until I was strong enough before performing each surgery. Somehow, against all the odds I survived.Once I was strong enough I was discharged into the care of social services and placed into a home. They never found out who my father was or traced my mother so I was put up for adoption. However it soon became clear that no-one wanted an armless, legless, deaf baby girl who would probably have heart and lung problems for the rest of her life and never live independently.So I grew up in a children’s home. I watched the other children come and go never being able to tell me what life was like away from the home. I learnt to roll around on the floor so I could play a little with the other kids, although what I could do was very limited and I tired very quickly and easily because of my heart and lung problems. They also got bored of me quickly as I had no way of communicating. I spent a lot of time helpless sat in my wheelchair. I used to just wear a pair of knickers.
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