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"I need all the help I can get," I said quietly."Oh, please," Bree sighed. "Why do you say that?" Um," I said, annoyed by the charade, "because I'm really a guy?" What?" Bree exclaimed. She jumped in front of the chair and carefullystudied my face. "Oh my God," she said."Oh come on," I mumbled."I had no idea!" Bree looked over at Ruth. "Ruth, did you know?" I didn't know until my daughter told me last night," Ruth said. "I didfind it odd to learn that Bethany wore a wig, but I was still fooled."She laughed. "And to think I was trying to set you up with Kyle!" You carry yourself very well," Bree said."Doesn't she?" Ruth said."Thank you," I mumbled."It's how she carries herself," Ruth told Bree. "Most men tend tofunction with their center of gravity always below the waist. ButBethany keeps her center of balance above the waist, the way women do." You're right," Bree said. "It's as though you have breasts. Are thoseimplants?" No," I said, embarrassed."I'm sorry," Bree said. . .one of Marilyn Manson's touching love ballads, actually. Then, suddenly, not six feet away, I saw a glint of gold as the last rays of the setting sun reflected off the skull that was dangling from Bramwell's left ear. I began sidling towards him surreptitiously noticing, as I did so, that the grass was littered with dead and dying pigeons. Gertrude Stein would've found it inspirational. But, as I moved towards Bramwell he began to move away. I began to walk faster. So did he. Soon we were running and just as I was saying to myself "Wow! Deja Vu!" I slipped on that damn cake and went sprawling. Tore a hole in my best nylons too. I tellya, TS's...it's tough out there. It's a jungle!By the time I scrambled to my feet he was long gone. "Take me to my office," I told Ernie."You look TERRIBLE!" Chrissy said as I squelched in. "Thank you, " said, brushing a few soggy cake crumbs from my skirt. "Anything new?" Mr. Dashiell just called," she said. "Apparently his wife just got wind of the.
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