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There are so many things that I did, said, and felt which I now see were so incredibly stupid. I can't imagine how I let myself get into those situations, for one thing. Why in the world I let myself get talked into going out drinking with those girls... I just don't know.That was the start of it, I think. Doctor Jamison gave me a list of books to read and it was a revelation to me. Alcohol takes a woman and turns her inside out. Like one of them says, it's the most effective date rape drug in the world. It deadens the thinking processes and lowers inhibitions to the point of non-existence. Heavy drinking is such a self-destructive thing to do too. It makes the body react hard in order to throw off the poisons and it alters the body's chemistry.Doctor Jamison has helped me figure out I was drinking hard so I could make myself numb and not have to deal with the things I was feeling. It didn't work. It only made me more vulnerable to Brian. It made it easy for him to get me to sleep. My wife rolled onto her back and spread her legs, “ Come-on, honey…. Get over here and give me a good fucking!” Sometimes she talks like this, but not often. I guess she was trying to keep my excitement up. I got on my knees between her legs and plugged myself in. After a few minutes of fucking, that old familiar feeling started to come back. I felt my dick start to soften. I began to pump into my wife faster and just as she orgasmed, I began to loose my erection completely. As we were catching our breath, she said, “I guess it worked. That was great, honey.” I told her it worked better, but I had to hurry to give her an orgasm before my dick went completely soft. “Oh…. I’m sorry, darling…. May be Nichole will have another idea we can try when we see her tomorrow,” I removed the stimulator and my wife turned on her side towards me and rested her head on my stomach. We both fell asl**p and awoke the next morning. We got cleaned up and dressed and headed back to the doctors. Nichole.
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